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Friday, March 31, 2006
Smells Like Toddler Spit-up
I know we're about a decade late to this party, but ball-and-chain and I just looked up the lyrics of Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit. We wish we hadn't because they're so lame. They beg for parody, and, for all we know have been parodied extensively since the 90s. Nevertheless, here's our contribution. If you know the music, play it in your mind as you read.
Smells Like Toddler Spit-up
I got some food stuck in my hair
I lost my Spidey underwear
I took a bath in early June
My brother smells like a baboon
Hello. Jello. (repeat)
With the lights out it’s so scary
Here we are now
The tooth fairy
I feel barfy and real funny
Here we are now
Easter bunny
Hot potato
Have some Drano
Squeeze the play-dough
Look at Elmo
Yeah
I’m eating lollipops all day
I hid the babysitter’s pay
I giggle when my sister falls
I write with crayon on the walls
Hello. Jello. (repeat)
With the lights out it’s so scary
Here we are now
The tooth fairy
I feel barfy and real funny
Here we are now
Easter bunny
Hot potato
Have some Drano
Squeeze the play-dough
Look at Elmo
Yeah
I gotta go now really bad
Because of all the juice I had
The bathroom I will never find
Oh well, whatever, never mind
Hello. Jello. (repeat)
With the lights out it’s so scary
Here we are now
The tooth fairy
I feel barfy and real funny
Here we are now
Easter bunny
Hot potato
Have some Drano
Squeeze the play-dough
Look at Elmo
Yeah
A time out
A time out - served up by Doctor Bean @ 6:51 AM
Comments:
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Are you sure you're ready to be blogging again?!?
I guess now we know what you were really doing during your hiatus...
I got a good chortle and snort out of this one, which is always a good thing in the morning!
I guess now we know what you were really doing during your hiatus...
I got a good chortle and snort out of this one, which is always a good thing in the morning!
"If my patients ever discover what a crazy right-winger I am, Ralphie will have to feed and clothe my children"...
Um, Doc, I think you might have bigger things to worry about your patients finding out about you.
Um, Doc, I think you might have bigger things to worry about your patients finding out about you.
When I read the intro, I thought "lame." But I must admit those lyrics are quite an accomplishment. Good stuff.
All i can say is, I hope you wake up humming that fifty times this summer.
# quipped 
: 8:39 AM, March 31, 2006
: 8:39 AM, March 31, 2006
Bean,
I thought your subscription to Mad Magazine ran out decades ago:)
I thought your subscription to Mad Magazine ran out decades ago:)
# quipped : 9:40 AM, March 31, 2006
: 9:40 AM, March 31, 2006
I used to be an English teacher and sometimes those English-teacher blues just come on me and I see a litle bitty English mistake and I want to correct it and I...can't...stop...myself.
Dr. Bean wrote "I just looked up the lyrics. We wish we didn't" and I know I should just let it go, such a tiny little mistake, but....
You should have said, "I wish we hadn't."
After all the pleasure I've had reading this little-known blog, this oasis of good sense and good humor and civility, this perfect little coffe-house, well, that one tiny imperfection gnawed at me like the tiny birthmark on the face of the beautiful woman in the Nathaniel Hawthorne story....
I pray that fixing this tiny flaw won't have Hawthornian results (his beloved ended up flawless -- and dead).
Dr. Bean wrote "I just looked up the lyrics. We wish we didn't" and I know I should just let it go, such a tiny little mistake, but....
You should have said, "I wish we hadn't."
After all the pleasure I've had reading this little-known blog, this oasis of good sense and good humor and civility, this perfect little coffe-house, well, that one tiny imperfection gnawed at me like the tiny birthmark on the face of the beautiful woman in the Nathaniel Hawthorne story....
I pray that fixing this tiny flaw won't have Hawthornian results (his beloved ended up flawless -- and dead).
little-known? little-known????
Well, I guess if 9 or 10 people counts as "little."
My point is it's a little difficult to maintain our delusions of grandeur if you point out this kind of thing to us.
And, by the way, while I might not be so careful while blogging, I am a badge-wearing officer of the grammar police, too.
Well, I guess if 9 or 10 people counts as "little."
My point is it's a little difficult to maintain our delusions of grandeur if you point out this kind of thing to us.
And, by the way, while I might not be so careful while blogging, I am a badge-wearing officer of the grammar police, too.
dude, I can't believe you spent precious time thinking that up. It was bad enough the first time around (don't get me wrong, I love that album, but the lyrics are there for sound, not meaning...)
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Wow you guys at the Coffee House must have a ton of time on your hands these days. Math problems, song parodies, what next?
Seriously, though, that was HILARIOUS. CC'd it to Mr. EK. He actually stopped watching college basketball to read it and laughed his head off. Shavuah Tov!
Seriously, though, that was HILARIOUS. CC'd it to Mr. EK. He actually stopped watching college basketball to read it and laughed his head off. Shavuah Tov!
# quipped : 5:54 PM, April 01, 2006
: 5:54 PM, April 01, 2006
Wanderer: I’m probably not ready to be back. I should take a few weeks off after this.
Cruisin-mom: You’re right. No one wants to read goofy lyric parodies from the man who might tell you that you have cancer.
Ralphie: The Weird Al lyrics are great. Thanks. I guess that’s why he gets paid for this and I don’t.
Og: You really know how to hurt a guy.
Legal Eagle: You knew I was goofy almost twenty years ago…
Psychotoddler: I’ve always wanted to write for you.
Ball-and-chain: I love you, honey!
Ms. Katz: I appreciate the correction. I fixed it. A former English teacher, huh? I may make you read through my science fiction short story. It’ll hurt you more than it hurts me.
Birdwoman: Not that much time. 15 or 20 minutes. Tops.
Ezer Knegdo: Glad I gave the Rabbi a laugh. That’s, after all, why I’m here.
Cruisin-mom: You’re right. No one wants to read goofy lyric parodies from the man who might tell you that you have cancer.
Ralphie: The Weird Al lyrics are great. Thanks. I guess that’s why he gets paid for this and I don’t.
Og: You really know how to hurt a guy.
Legal Eagle: You knew I was goofy almost twenty years ago…
Psychotoddler: I’ve always wanted to write for you.
Ball-and-chain: I love you, honey!
Ms. Katz: I appreciate the correction. I fixed it. A former English teacher, huh? I may make you read through my science fiction short story. It’ll hurt you more than it hurts me.
Birdwoman: Not that much time. 15 or 20 minutes. Tops.
Ezer Knegdo: Glad I gave the Rabbi a laugh. That’s, after all, why I’m here.
BTW, here's a song I recorded about my son Kovi when he was a toddler, about 14 years ago:
Kovi Kovay
Kovi Kovay
Psychotoddler: Just listened to it. It's a work of epic beauty and sweeping genius. It must be played at Kovi's wedding.
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