The Fortune Cookie
I was recently in China on business, and I took many meals in Chinese restaurants great and modest. This may surprise you, but I was not offered a single fortune cookie during the entire trip.

At the Chinese restaurant near my workplace in the OC, I always get an after-lunch fortune cookie. When the fortunes are good, I keep them and tape them to my monitor, to remind myself and inform others that my destiny has already been written by the ancient Chinese philosophers. The last four in a row were keepers:

1. You are admired by everyone for your talent and ability.

2. You are a happy man.

3. You are going on well with your business.

4. You are going on well with your business. (Yes, the same message - perhaps repeated for emphasis.)

A friend of mine consistently draws bad fortunes from the same restaurant, like "You will suffer a setback." and "A friend asks for your time, not your money." I explain to him that it's just the luck of the draw, influenced heavily by his unclean spirit. Then I ask him for money. - served up by Oven @ 9:12 PM