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Miscellaneous thoughts and ramblings
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Regrets, I've Had a Few
Actually, until this week, only one: When I was a freshman at UCLA in the late 80s, I had the opportunity to ask Billy Crystal a question at a ceremony in which he received some sort of comedy award. I asked some lame question about one of his past movies. What I should have done was simply ask, "I hope you don't mind my asking you a personal question, but don't you hate it when..." and just see if he'd run with it. It could have fallen flat or it could have been awesome, but I'll never know.

But now I have a new regret: I regret not becoming a journalist and making my way into the White House press corps. Becasue then I could have been there when reporters were asking the press secretary about Cheney's hunting accident. You've probably heard about the press conference by now. People were asking questions such as, "Would it have been worse if the man had died?" Crackerjack investigative reporting, that.

But I wasn't there. So I couldn't ask questions such as: "Would it have been worse if Vice-President Cheney had strapped explosives to himself, wandered into a high-traffic pedestrian area, and detonated himself?"

Or: "Would it have been worse if, instead of hunting, Vice-President Cheney and his friend were off herding sheep, and a special bond developed between them, which led to the love that dare not speak its name? And then he shot him?"
Why settle for journalist? You've got it going on as a comedy writer.
Tell my agent...
I remember Ralphie in college doing stand-up. Was it at the Comedy Store on Sunset during some fundraiser or something? I remember lots of Jewish cowboy jokes and holiday jokes. Like shaking the lulav and stuff like that. Remember Ralphie?
Um, wanderer, you are threatening my anonymity here....

(Note: This is a joke, the joke being that no one else on Earth remembers that, and only about 2 people saw it in the first place.)
Ha ha ha! After I posted that comment it did occur to me that I might be compromising your anonymity. But then it also occurred to me that only 2 or 3 people saw it at the time, and none of them read this blog, as far as I know. I mean its not like you were on the Sunset Boulevard marquee or anything...

You were funny though (still are) and I'd love to hear some of those Jewish cowboy/holiday jokes again. Post 'em here!
Go Ralphie, go Ralphie...an evening at the blog improv...I'm in.
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