Monday, August 14, 2006
Greetings from 2008
Talk about a Kerckhoff Coffeehouse exclusive! I have just returned from Summer 2008 and have exciting news to report!
The U.N. Security Council has unanimously passed Resolution 1938. This resolution states that Israel must immediately cease its offensive military operations in Gaza and the West Bank, and grants the right to Hamas, Islamic Jihad, and Fatah, to continue its defensive actions of firing missiles into civilian centers in Jerusalem and Tel Aviv as needed for the security of the Palestinian People. As you recall, Israel unilaterally withdrew from Gaza and the West Bank in the summers of 2005 and 2007, respectively. The Resolution also calls for funds from the U.S. and the E.U. to rebuild all nursery school/missle depots.
In the North, the resolution calls for Hizbullah to pull back to Haifa where from there to all points north it will set up charitable community centers and baby milk factories for Hizbullistan (formerly Lebanon and northern Israel) citizens. Since Iran became a nuclear power in 2007, Israel's ability to fight back against Hizbullah was even weaker than its laughable attempt in 2006. Additionally, the resolution calls for the implementation of resolution 1701 which in turn calls for the implementation of resolution 1559. The only difference is that instead of calling for UNIFIL & the Lebanese army to disarm Hizbullah, it now calls for the Hizbullistan army to disarm Hizbullah.
This might sound somewhat bleak to those of you stuck in 2006, but the fighting has stopped! That means there's peace!