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Miscellaneous thoughts and ramblings
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
The baby’s fingernails were pretty long – she was scratching herself and Mrs. Ralphie, too. So Mrs. R asked a nurse for a file or some clippers. “We don’t give those out,” came the reply. “Oh,” my wife said, “then can you or one of the other nurses do it?”

“Sorry, we’re not allowed to cut the babies’ nails.”

“Oh… can maybe a doctor do it or something?”

The nurse replied, “Actually, no one on staff is allowed to cut anyone’s nails at the hospital.”

Mrs. R. found this rather strange. “You mean even a doctor can’t cut even an adult’s nails?”

“That’s right.”

“So, you people here can slice open someone’s heart, but you can’t clip someone’s nails.”

“Um, I guess so.”

“What it there’s a hangnail emergency?”



First thing Mrs. R. did when she was discharged: go down to the salon on the corner to get a manicure from a high school dropout.
Good grief! The more 'advanced' our society becomes, the stupider rules we make!
When our first child was born, we had the same issue. On the first night, when we asked the late-shift nurse about the nails, she cautioned us not to use nail clippers or scissors. “Most of the moms just bite them off,” she told us. That seemed odd, but what did we know? We’d never had a kid before. We held off, and just made sure the baby’s hands were covered with long sleeves. The next morning, the new nurse noticed the nails. “Yeah,” I said. “We’re going to bite them off pretty soon.” She looked at me as if I had told her we were about to bathe the baby in hot oil. “That doesn’t sound very sanitary,” she told me. When I told her it was the other nurse’s suggestion, but she didn’t believe me. To this day, I’m sure she put some kind of notation in our chart warning folks to keep an eye on us.
Bite them off! HAHAHAHAHA!

I had a terrible nail-biting problem as a kid. Now Sweetie bites or picks at hers occasionally, and whenever I catch her, I cut them. I can't imagine ever biting my kid's nails on purpose!
You make light of this, but there is a VERY REAL RISK of some TERRORIST nurse using those nail clippers to take over an OR and hijack a boob job.
I think they had a camera in the room when the "nurse" suggested biting them off.

Luckily, I had been warned about this by a friend, and in my hospital bag I had the little files and safety scissors. I snuck the clipping while Nurse Ratched wasn't looking.

Ha, I like your comment about Nurse Ratched! Reminds me of the time when my newborn just-a-few-hours old little baby snuggled up in bed with me,nursing, and then she and I both drifted off to sleep and yup, in comes Nurse Ratched. "You're not SLEEPING with that baby are you?!"

I just gave birth to a new baby, G-d forbid I should actually sleep. "No ma'am of COURSE I'm not SLEEPING, I'm just lying here with my eyes closed but I wouldn't DARE sleep with YOU on the prowl."

OF course the old grump took the baby away and put her in her little
glass box. And every time the wee thing cried for milk I had to nurse her with one eye open, no sleeping allowed!

But Nurse Ratched couldn't follow me home, and little does she know that that baby slept in my bed every night for a year. No she never fell out of bed and I never rolled over on her and we both got a lot more sleep than I ever had with my first two babies -- before I learned to ignore the Nurse Ratcheds and go with my instincts.

Baby is thirteen years old now, none the worse for wear.
You're supposed to cut their nails? My boys are teenagers now...do you think it's time to cut their nails?
Hey, by the way...who's that guy on the side drinking coffee? I LOVE him
Nurse Ratched is among the many reasons my babies will be born at home, with an old-fashioned lay midwife. And in the unlikely event that something goes wrong, in spite of being a)prepared and b)relaxed, then a 911 call will alert the doctors and nurses to do what they do best: get all freaked out.
Our first child was an underwater birth. It was so natural, and beautiful. I think the other swimmers at the Y were a little grossed out, though.
Speaking of which, I understand that newborn babies can swim, if you put them in water. If you don't give them a chance to practice, they forget. 'Nother thing I'm gonna try with my kids. It'd sure be easier than all the shenanigans trying to get Sweetie (stepdaughter) into a pool.
You know another thing newborns can do? They can walk! It's some kind of reflex that they lose after the first few days -- it wasn't until my third baby that I actually remembered to try it out -- it is so cool (and a little spooky) The baby can't support his own weight so you have to hold the baby upright, with his feet flat on a hard surface like a table -- and he will make walking movements!

Underwater birth at the Y -- now that is really funny!

Baby swimming -- not sure they really can -- but they have mammalian reflex to hold their breath underwater and not breathe water in -- they lose that reflex early, I'm not sure how early -- I'm not sure it really is such a good idea to teach little babies to swim but it does seem to be possible.
Well, they obviously don't do the breaststroke. But my mom says I could swim by 6 months, meaning I could independently propel myself through the water, with my face under. I don't know why baby swimming would cause a problem.

I wonder, if you let them practice daily, if they would hang onto those two reflexes. It'd be interesting...
That's nothing - I just gave my 10-day-old the car keys to go pick up some Huggies.
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