Friday, June 03, 2005
The Survival Kit
Many years from now, when I install a bomb shelter in my backyard, I think I'll pack a little Diversity Kit of my own. Only I'll call it a Survival Kit because (A) its purpose is to help me and my loved ones survive a state of emergency, and (B) under such circumstances I won't give a crap about diversity.
Bandages, gauze - To remind you to stop bleeding if you are cut by broken glass, flying debris, or an especially insensitive remark.
Assorted ointments and medicines - To remind you that untreated infections can cause severe pain and permanent disability, and lower your self esteem.
One week of fresh food and water - To remind you that hunger and thirst can really hurt your feelings.
Swiss Army knife, flashlight, compass, radio, extra batteries, matches, plastic sheets, bleach, duct tape, eating utensils - To remind you of the rich diversity between yourself and a caveman.
20 Gauge shotgun and a good supply of ammo - To remind you that, under extreme conditions, some people need an advanced course in sensitivity.
$25,000 in 1-oz. gold coins - To remind you that paper currency is only as good as the government that backs it.
The Holy Bible - To remind you to love the Lord and keep His Word.
I'm sure that by the time you build it, there will be some sort of law against having bibles in bomb shelters.Post a Comment