Ted
The last place I lived in Westwood was a few miles from campus. I shared a house with 3 people. One of the girls had an unassuming basic black cat named Ted. Ted was about as ordinary as it gets in the feline world. Fairly friendly, often affectionate, but occassionally stand-offish. Fit in well with the rest of the household. Didn't cause trouble.

So, one evening, I'm alone in the house, studying for finals. It's just Ted and me. I had a simple approach to cooking during finals week; cook one thing one time, and cook a lot of it. On the menu this week was bean dip. I was on day 3 of finals week, and aside from a few snacks on campus, my diet had consisted almost exclusively of bean dip for the previous 72 hours.

So it came to pass that I was laying on the couch on my stomach studying, and Ted decides my back would be a warm place to sleep. So, Ted jumps up on my back, stretches, and lays down with his face nestled right in the crack of my ass.

Predictably, he hadn't been asleep for very long when he got a shock. Poor Ted. Face full of fart, he attempted to stand up, wobbled a little bit, and I kid you not, old Ted fell sideways right off of my ass and onto the hardwood floor. It's the one and only time I've ever witnessed a cat fall, and not land on his feet.

He shook his head a bit to get his wits back about him, and attempted to retain some dignity as he stumbled out of the room. It was 20 minutes before I could stop laughing long enough to even think about studying again. Ted didn't return to the living room.

I honestly don't think Ted ever trusted me again after that night. I mean, sure, he'd still come up and seek a little affection here and there, he wouldn't turn down a meal... but it was never the same between us. I imagine he carried it with him for the rest of his life. - served up by Nomad @ 1:28 PM 7 comments

 
Neighbor update
This morning I saw the neighbor in question out walking his dog. I told him that it's none of my business, but I hope he's not moving because of the note. He said his girlfriend (Girlfriend? Living in sin! Somebody write another letter!) was freaked out by it and wanted to move. He also said that sometime last year both of their cars were keyed up and cost $5,000 to fix (seem a little steep?). I couldn't quite tell if he was connecting the two issues, but either way he should get over a million for it. - served up by Ralphie @ 1:14 PM 9 comments