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Miscellaneous thoughts and ramblings
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Mr. Jellypants
About a decade ago, I received the following email from Oven.

Hello Mr. Jellypants,

Badgrass got you down? Well, it takes more than a whistle to keep the leaves off a chestnut tree, if you know what I mean. Say, how about those Hooters? Now ain't that a cracker! I was talking to Derry just the a few weeks ago, and I says to him, "I think the Hooters have more muscle and greater mental powers than any team since the Cinncinati Buffaloes of 1963." And wouldn't you know it, they start breaking records and shattering chandeliers from Seattle to St. Augustine (which, by the way, is the oldest city in the United States). Friend of mine, Jerry McSwordfish, got me a couple of tickets to see them play in the Cobblestone Cup just two weeks from last Thursday. Of course I'll have to quit my job, but it's worth it. I can't tell you how excited I am --- oh yes I can, I just wet myself!

Well, see you later Old Sassyflaps. Don't take any wooden pickles.
The following was my response.
Dear Sir,

I am surprised and disappointed to learn that your constant requests to the warden for internet access from your rubber room have apparently been granted. I don't know how you've managed to track down my address, but I swear I won't allow your lunacy to shatter my life again. I've finally got my credit cleaned up and all the dental work finished and the nightmares are down to every other night, so I have no intention of having anything to do with a midnight-hollering toothpaste-snorting forehead-stapling whacking-off-in-public freak like you. If you have any reason left in your misshapen skull, you'll leave me alone. I am forwarding a copy of your insane ramblings to your psychiatrist; I hope he'll finally decide to medicate you into a harmless drooling vegetable.

Julius "Jellypants" Sassyflaps
Ha! You guys are so hilariously weird. I love it! Where did the two of you meet?
I sort of had a hunch that I didn't speak your language, but now I am quite CERTAIN of it!
We met in high school, but this particular bit of correspondence took place right after college when Bean was just making a name for himself as a new doctor. The funniest part (for me) is that Bean somehow sent the response to one of his doctor colleagues, and the guy replied "I think this was intended for someone else."
Ayelet: I went to high school in Orange County (a very republican, very suburban county just south of LA County). In sophomore year Oven showed up, having just moved from out of state. We were both brainy introverts with marginal social skills. (Were?) That was 1982 or 3. We’ve been friends since.

Stacey: Sorry. I’ll try to talk math to you next time. Here’s one for you: open a blank excel spreadsheet and in the first column have it figure out the first 30 or so Fibonnaci numbers. (1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13…. where each number is the sum of the previous two.) Let’s call the nth number in that column F(n). In the next column, for each number F(n) starting with the second one, calculate [F(n)^2 - F(n-1)*F(n+1)]. Cool, huh?

Oven: Are you serious? I totally don’t remember that, but had I not found the emails I wouldn’t have remembered any of it. Do you happen to remember who I sent it to? Did he have a similar name to you?
Wow. I loved that!!
Bean, you seem to have a habit of sending embarrassing emails to the wrong person. I recall you sent something rather unflattering to one of the bigwigs at General Hospital instead of me.

Oh, and Oven, I think there's a career for you in the Spam writing business.
Bean - As I recall, the recipient's name was Stove.

Psychotoddler - Thanks!
"Word salad is a very serious condition that indicates a severe, pervasive disruption of many important systems of the brain..."

"... the apparently confused usage of words with no apparent meaning or relationship attached to them...e.g. the question "Why do people believe in God?" elicits a response like "Because he makes a twirl in life, my box is broken help me blue elephant. Isn't lettuce brave? I like electrons, hello."

I think this post qualifies. Let's debate!
Maybe its not quite that bad. But I love the example Wikipedia gave and had to share it...
Wanderer: Mmm... Word salad! Tangy!

Verily, my asparagus is aclimating with Saturn.
Gosh carbon, your suggestion dispenses mighty graft and bananas. Have you sunken it beyond the orchestra's rebellion?
OK, you guys are just scary.
I have to draw the line here - you guys are being anti-semantic.
You guys are sitting on a gold-mine here.

Check this out.
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