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Miscellaneous thoughts and ramblings
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Pakistan Arrests Al Qaeda's No. 3 Leader

Oooh, in the name of The Most Merciful and His faithful servant Mohammad, I am so sleepy. These Pakis have been most unkind to me, their Muslim brother. Why do they side with the Jews and homosexuals? Why do they torment me so? I have not slept in so long and my vitiligo is flaring like a rash on a camel's scrotum. In the name of The Most Holy, I will avenge this humiliation, just as soon as I can take a nap. All night they ask me questions, and I'm sure one of them is an American. They play their Jewish mind games with me, but Allah gives me strength. I am beginning to hallucinate. Yesterday I thought I saw a very attractive goat...
What's a vitiligo?
Vitiligo is an auto-immune skin condition that causes patches of complete pigment loss. Michael Jackson is said to have it, and from the pitcure in the post, it looks like our friendly terrorist does too. (The dark patches on his cheeks are his normal skin tone; the very pale skin elsewhere is vitiligo.) As far as I know vitiligo is not associated with child molestation or terrorism.
Irina: That's all you have to say?

Bean: Hilarious!
Do you see a pattern forming here?

So many of these terrorist leaders are profoundly maimed or disfigured (blind, crippled, bad skin, etc.) that you have to wonder if they all didn't individually arrive at the idea early on that, "well, my life didn't turn out to be so great so I'm going to take it out on the rest of the world!"

Just a thought.
Doctor Bean, thanks for the explanation... That explains the person with weird patches in my college. And I thought those were really bad birthmarks!

I'm so happy this guy has been taken. Off with his head! (But not before a short, pleasant vacation to Syria for a few "formal" questions about his friend Usama...)
Is this supposed to be funny? Really, don't consider stand-up comedy as a career option.
Do you mean the post or one of the comments or both? The post was supposed to be funny. I'm sorry you didn't get it. My comment was actually a parody of Queen of Hearts in "Alice in Wonderland". I'm sorry you didn't get the reference. And we all know how parody works... And to be honest, I odn't care about this guy at all, or what happens to him. He should be glad we didn't do to him what his fellow terrorists do to captured Americans.
David: Hmmm... I always thought they got disfigured during work-place accidents as terrorists. In any case, I don't think either of us buys the misfortune excuse. Osama Bin Laden is tall, not yet disfigures, and wealthy, just as one example.

Irina: Agree.

Nuriko: Welcome. Yes, sadly, my post was supposed to be funny. (Irina: I think she was referring to me not to your comment.) I am definitely not considering stand up comedy, you'll be relieved to know. What can I say? I take a lot of comedy risks here, some work, others not so much.

I thought "camel's scrotum" was a little funny. No? Not even a little smirk? Hmmmm.... Drat.

Well, I value the feedback. Stick around. I may disappoint you again.
Nuriko: I see from your blog that you're in Pakistan. Just to be clear, I wasn't making fun of Pakistanis (or Jews or homosexuals). I was making fun of the captured terrorist by speaking in his voice and painting him as a bigotted goon. It might not have been funny, but I want to at least make sure that you understand who the joke was supposed to be on.
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