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Miscellaneous thoughts and ramblings
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
I birthed a Vulcan
We have mentioned Stretch a few times on this blog. Many of you probably think that he is an average 10-year-old boy. You are wrong. He is a Vulcan. For those of you who did not spend your college years watching Star Trek reruns and movies, let me fill you in. Spock, from the USS Enterprise was a Vulcan. You remember the pointy ears. You may not remember the lack of human emotion. Spock’s every decision was based on logic. Spock was half-human and therefore could understand a little bit about feelings. My son is the same. Recently, he brought home one of those goofy, beginning-of-the-year assignments designed to let your new teacher learn about you and, touchingly, to teach you a little about yourself. It is titled “How I Really Feel.” Here are some of Stretch’s answers (his comments follow the dash)
When I have to read, I- read
I get angry when- I don’t have enough steak (meaning when he’s hungry)
I wish my parents knew- rocket science
I can’t understand why- people get sad so easily
I wish my mother- knew chemistry
People think I- am weird, I agree
When I finish High School- I’ll become an engineer
For me, studying- is stupid
I feel proud when- I figure something out before anyone else
I wish I could- fly, no doubt
I am at my best when- I eat food from PKD (a local kosher deli)

Even more priceless are the ones he left blank. They indicate an inability to understand the emotional component that others experience in certain situations.
To be grown up-
I feel bad when- ( I actually quizzed him about this one. He said he never feels bad)
I wish my teachers-
Going to college-
When I take my report card home- (In response to my query, the best he could reach for was “I put it down.”)
I would like to be-

Reading this over again, I realize that he really does sound odd. However, it can also be read as being about someone who is totally content with himself and his life. He can’t answer “I would like to be” because he is totally content with who he is. Also, he is readily able to understand others’ emotions (like his sisters’). He just doesn’t have any. Furthermore, he’s a really sweet kid as evidenced by the final question from this assignment that he left blank.

I wish my father-

I asked him about this one too. He said he didn’t know what he was supposed to write. I suggested that he think of something that his father was lacking and fill it in. He looked at me incredulously, and said
“Dad isn’t lacking anything”
And I couldn’t disagree
Your post is quite logical. Our offspring seems to be developing well. He requires more proteinaceous dietary intake. Otherwise, your parenting seems quite satisfactory.
Anyone who says, "I get angry when- I don’t have enough steak.", is well, like, all my friends!

So Little Bean, tomorrow mornin', ask Mama for some steak for breakfast. I recommend steak and eggs--sunny side up. (The yolks make a fine sauce.) Have some hash browns on the side, a slice of orange or tomato or just some ketchup for vitamin C, and you are ready for a great day.
My parallel world son brought home the same assignment last night, on his first day of school. It was a "get to know you better" questionnaire for the teacher. He "tried" to answer questions, but his difficulties lie with open-ended concepts. He needs to deal with real, tangible, logical ideas. These questions make him have to look inward and that's the problem. When he called me for help, I told him I was busy, skip those questions and I'd help him afterwards. And I indeed had to help him with a few questions, suggest possible answers, which he grabbed up as his own.

I think that teacher will get to know me a little better now.

But his response to me about anything homework related yesterday was: "It's ONLY the first day...!"
He is no doubt a positive reflection of his parental units.

Also sounds an awful lot like my 11 year old, Curly.
Since we brought home our newborn several weeks ago I noticed that the cartilage in his ears has either not come in yet or is extremely soft.

My first question is - is this normal?

More importantly (and more relevant to this thread) I am wondering if this presents a unique opportunity for me to create an actual Vulcan set of ears. Does anyone know of any commercially available earmold that will allow me to mold my newborn son's ears into a pointy tip? This parenting thing could be fun!
PT and Pearl: The neat thing about my friends is that many of them have kids just like this. That makes it easier for me to talk about and makes it more comfortable for kids like them as well. In truth, he is just a classic "geek." Being a geek these days however, isn't nearly as socially deadly as it used to be. I think that is great. Oh, and Pearl, as you can see Stretch simply limited the open ended questions so he wouldn't have to do the kind of self-reflection that the assignment was really designed to elicit. That's another thing that I thought was so great about his answers.

Wanderer: Only if you are coming over to cook.
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